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LIFE AFTER BIRTH: Love, Sex, & Baby...

​Having a baby is a life-changing event. But if we're honest with ourselves, we don't want everything in our lives to change...

One of the most noticeable things to change is our intimate relationship with our partners.

I get it, with all you and your partner's attention focused on your new bundle of joy it's hard to focus on anything else. Maybe your on opposite schedules (late nights with crying babies, am I right?)

I'm going to let you in on a little secret... You have to work at it. You have to actively and consciously work to keep things interesting. It may sound like a sacrifice, but really its an investment in your relationship.

In order to have time to spend with each other, you have to get your time management in order. If you haven't already, try to work out a schedule for your new baby. Whether your at-home with your baby or your baby is in childcare, setting a routine will make your life so much easier and maybe even put you in the mood.

Your schedule doesn't have to be a strict one to start. You should start with wake up and bedtime happening around the same time daily. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time can be scheduled based on your baby's needs. Bath and play time can be scheduled around your baby's eating schedule. Once you have a handle on your baby's schedule, you'll have an idea of how much free time you actually have.

Sex may be the last thing on your mind after having a baby. For many of us, our new mom bods don't make us feel too sexy. Here's the thing, you created life. You gave your partner something no one else can ever give. You're the sh*t! So act like it! This part is going to take some extra effort. Whether it's self care via exercise, a mommy make over, new wardrobe, whatever is going to make you feel like the sexy being that got you pregnant in the first place.

Now that you're feeling sexy, time to get your partner in on the action. Here are a few tips to get it poppin'!

  • Carve out some "us" time. During this time, you're not mommy or daddy. Your only responsibility is to enjoy each other's company.

  • Try something new. Missionary may have gotten you pregnant, but doggystyle may bring the spark back! Get creative!

  • Communicate. Your needs and desires are likely to change with time. There is no shame in being direct with your partner. In the long run, they'll thank you for it. You should also reciprocate and allow your partner to be upfront with you as well.

  • Rest! This ties into setting a schedule, being too tired will deprive you and your partner. So make sure to get as much rest as you can.

  • Have fun. Do nothing out of obligation. Find non-sexual activities to do together, this is the groundwork for a healthy sexual relationship.

  • Tease each other. Mounting sexual tension may be the greatest way to get back on the horse after a while of not being intimate.

There are so many other ways to engage your partner to put the spark back in your relationship. Check back for part 2!


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