The Second Time Around...

Going into my second pregnancy, I thought I was way more prepared. I wasn't. I was will aware of what I didn't want to happen. I didn't bother to focus on what I did want.

I meticulously selected my prenatal care and the hospital I would deliver at. I splurged on prenatal vitamins, my diet was much healthier this time around (I only gained half as much weight as I did with my first pregnancy... Which was still a lot lol) and I was pretty confident.

Around 5 months in, I was in a car accident. This rattled me to my core. We were alright, healthy, but I was terrified the rest of my pregnancy.

I was going to doctors appointments alone because my husband had to care for our 1 year old. Time was passing, and I found I was just going through the motions. 
I just wanted to survive, for my baby to survive. Ironically, all my "good habits" had gone out the window.

The closer I got to delivery, my doctor began to push birth control on me. I didn't want to get pregnant again too soon so I went along with it. He decided that the IUD was the best option, I wasn't fully convinced.

Fast forward to the week I was due, I had visited the ER three times before I was admitted just the day before I was scheduled to be induced. I know false labor can be very convincing, and although my contractions were intense they weren't consistent so I was sent home; repeatedly...

It turns out, on the third day I had been in labor for over ten hours. I didn't rush to the hospital for fear of being sent home. So while still in the ER, I requested an epidural.

I waited an hour, in pain before I was admitted into labor and delivery. Then another hour before I could receive the epidural. And then to top it all off, I had two of the most incompetent doctors administering it! It took them well over a half hour and repeated pricks to my lower back between contractions (it was hell) before they got it right.

Only for me to have my daughter 45 minutes later. It kills me, because of only I had encouragement I could've delivered naturally. If only I could have held on...

I pushed for 15 minutes and my second daughter was born, with much more ease than my first lol. As the doctor was stitching me up, I felt obligated to remind her to implant the IUD. It was in my paperwork, but she'd overlooked it.

To this day I can't understand why I allowed my doctor into pressuring me into birth control. I had went most of my young adult life without and managed not to get pregnant until I was 29 years old! I can't understand why I reminded the doctor to implant something I didn't want into my body.

At my 4 month check up, I had expressed to my doctor pelvic and hip pain. I asked if it was the IUD and if so, could it be removed. I was asking permission, to have something I didn't want in the first place be removed from my body. And even after I asked, he "suggested" I wait until after 6 months when my body would have fully acclimated to the IUD.

I called a week later, and had it removed by another doctor. And haven't returned to that clinic since...

All this is say, Doulas are important. I was well aware of Doulas but didn't have access to one. There's so many times I look back and wonder how differently things could've gone had I had an advocate. This is why I became a doula.

I want to help empower women. I want to teach and support women during one of the most important times of their lives. I don't want any woman to go through what I did because of lack of knowledge or support.